Self-harm is a difficult subject to talk about – especially when it comes to our teens. But unfortunately it’s a rising problem here in Australia. In fact 21.2% of teens in Australia have thought about self-injury and over 11% have acted on those thoughts by the ages of 16-17.
These numbers are even worse for girls – where 42% have thought about self-harm, compared to 18% of boys. It’s essentially an epidemic, and so it’s one that we need to address.
We know it can be upsetting and triggering to read about. If you’re a teen who has been practising some form of self-harm, it might be a good idea to delay reading this post until you are feeling less vulnerable. Instead, reach out to your parents or another trusted adult. Finding someone who can support you is the best step.
What is self-harm?
Self-harm is when someone intentionally hurts themselves to temporarily distract themselves from or cope with emotional or mental pain or distress. It might be something someone does only once. Or it could be part of a pattern of repeated behaviour.
It can also be addictive. Once self-harm becomes a coping mechanism, it might be something the person finds difficult to stop doing, despite the physical harm it brings.
Self-harm in teens can take different forms and is engaged in for different reasons. It is, however, generally an indicator that someone is in deep distress.
What are the types of self-harm?
Self-harm in teens can happen in a range of ways, from subtle to more obvious. But one thing to realise is that self-harm can be expressed in more ways than just physical.
Here are some ways a person might exhibit self-harm behaviours.
Physical
Physical acts of self-harm could be:
- Burning
- Cutting or scratching themselves
- Hitting parts of their body on or against something hard
- Pulling out hair
- Picking at scabs so they cannot heal
- Biting themselves
Digital
Teenagers can also engage in digital self-harm. This is when they create a social media identity and use it to post negative or abusive comments about themselves.
Risky behaviours
Self-harm and teens could be undertaken through engaging in risky behaviours. These could be excessive drinking, drug-taking, unsafe sex, binge-eating or even refusing to eat.
Each of these (and others) are a form of self-harm, despite what they may look like from the outside.
Why do teens self-harm?
It’s important to know that there is no single reason that teens engage in self-harm. They may feel overwhelmed with emotional or mental distress for reasons they can’t articulate. They may feel worthless or lonely. Or they may feel that there is nothing to look forward to. They may even be fearful of something or someone, or feel a desire to punish themselves.
Are teens who self-harm suicidal?
A teenager who is engaging in self-harm is not necessarily having suicidal thoughts. But when a teenager is practicing self-harm for an extended period, they are at higher risk of developing suicidal thoughts. For teens with a history of self-harm, 70% have attempted suicide at least once, and 55% have attempted suicide multiple times.
So, if you believe or know your teenager to be self-harming, it’s important to take immediate steps to help and support them.
How to tell if your teen is self-harming
It can be difficult to know your teenager is self-harming, as you may not be able to see any physical signs. Your teen may also be ashamed or embarrassed about their self-harming and try to hide it from you. But by paying careful attention you can pick up on clues. Some of these might be if your teen:
- Avoids activities where their bodies can be seen, such as swimming, or if they start wearing long sleeves and pants when the weather is hot.
- Starts skipping school, their school performance suffers or they start losing interest in school, social or sporting activities.
- Changes their usual routine or habits, including sleeping, eating and engaging with family and friends.
- Demonstrates mood changes – such as increased irritability.
- Exhibits changes to their physical appearance that goes beyond the typical self-expression.
- Is using Band-Aids, bandages, or antiseptic creams more than usual.
- Has asked for or taken razor blades, box-cutters, matches or lighters.
- Begins to have unexplained injuries.
How can you help a self-harming teen?
For parents or caregivers who discover that their teen has been self-harming, you may feel scared, guilty, angry or panicked. You may not be able to comprehend or understand why your teen is engaging in self-harm. The first step is to remain calm, and be prepared to help your teen get the support they need.
- Start a conversation. Start by talking to your teen and asking if they’re OK. It’s important to keep calm, actively listen to your teen and be free from judgement. Do not make them feel they are attention-seeking or being dramatic. Let them know that feelings of pain and distress are normal, that they can be difficult to cope with but that help is available.
- Seek help. Counselling sessions with a psychologist can help teenagers to break the cycle of self-harm. They can be supported and learn skills to cope in other ways with the pain or distress of emotional or mental anguish.
Your GP may be a starting point to getting the help you need. Or certainly our team is on hand to assist.
If your teen does not feel able to talk with someone in person, a confidential helpline such as Lifeline 13 11 14, Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 or Headspace may be a starting point. Or your teen may feel comfortable engaging with a psychologist online. The most important thing is to find someone that they feel able to open up to.
- Activities. If the urge to self-harm can be redirected, starting a new activity could be a distraction strategy. Baking, art, journalling, or walking could be a starting point, depending on your teen’s self-harm.
- Your professional – whether GP or psychologist – will be able to help you find the right activities to help support your teen.
We’re Here to Help!
If your teen is in immediate danger, talking suicide and/or self-harming call triple zero (000) for emergency services.
If you are in a situation and need some additional support, there are a number of 24-hour support helplines that may be useful.
Lifeline: 13 11 14;
Kids Help Line: 1800 78 99 78;
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 46 36;
If you are worried about your teen’s mental health, please call us on (07) 3857 0074 to book an appointment with one of our clinicians. Or send an Appointment Request via this website and we’ll contact you as soon as possible to book a suitable time for you.
Our team is on hand and ready to help!